Our company president has introduced an unbelievable employee benefit: unlimited sex for a flat monthly fee. Once the payment is made, employees can fuck any consenting adult woman who comes through the office, including food couriers, cleaners, receptionists, and new hires. I assumed every female employee would hate the system, but that is not the case. Somehow productivity and company performance both rise, which naturally means higher pay as well. There is nothing left to complain about.